[ it's the first time he's used this tone with her - the tone of a captain, a leader, one who exacts justice. not a tone he enjoys taking, but given the situation... ]
If this was a mercy kill, as implied, being upfront about it would have saved more than the attempt at keeping silent. No one would have thought either of you to attack each other intentionally. Those achievements have arbitrary conditions. Your value is greater alive and honest than dead and guilty.
[ it does prickle something up her spine, and she instinctively straightens - before catching herself. mordalion is not alces. he is not the prince. he is a comrade in arms, and someone she respects, but she does not take orders from him. ]
Maybe so. But 'tis all too late now, isn't it? I cannot take back my decision, just as much as you cannot turn back time to guarantee a different outcome, would that we could. [ ... ] This is the part that Strohl would have been better at, truth be told. He would have known the right time to reveal what happened. He would have been better suited to navigating trial.
... but he had forgotten who I was. He was the one possessed, and saw me as a threat, something about how I was fracturing. So I did what I knew that I would be better at handling, as I had promised him I would.
I'm not questioning your choices on Thursday night, although - he still didn't raise his sword against you, did he? Couldn't have viewed you as that much of a threat.
[ petty, perhaps. he always has been, and his respect for her - while under pressure, had not entirely given way yet, bringing just that flicker of equality back into his voice. the mention of fracturing is. odd, however. his eyes narrow slightly, filing that information away for later, should it be be needed. ]
But you are the first who could have made an admission, explained yourself, given us time collectively to find another culprit. To potentially find someone more dangerous, more likely to strike again. To not leave us without yet another teammate. The ripples of today will extend far beyond yourself.
[ hulkenberg can be petty, but not to those she calls friend - she gives him a look, brow visibly furrowed under her bangs, but doesn't dispute it. ]
He'd already had the lance in hand, and I gave him no chance to draw his sword or seek another target while not in his right mind. If some part of him still remained, behind the possession, 'twas not one that did not see me as a threat - 'tis giving him too little credit.
[ it's too optimistic to her, to believe that strohl was still there when he didn't remember her. that a part of him still held onto himself behind the possession. but it doesn't mean that she doesn't hope for it, in some way.
but... ]
... they will. We are fortunate in that there will be another lifeline, in the event that something happens, though 'tis one regret. [ they're too independent to be a proper team, with their stray cats and her and rosamund trying to herd them in some capacity. but she still cares for them. ] I promised him, Mordalion. Foolish as you may think me for it, reckless in all of this, I am a knight of my word.
But if you want to continue forward, in spite of the ripples... talk to Matsuno and Jonas. Miss Kate. They suspect that Asuka was the final culprit of the night, as do I. Perhaps something can be done, after the fact, that might make up for what has come to pass today. I will try to write with anything that I learn, and try to find a way to write around what obstructs the dead from sharing truth.
[ he listens, and it feels all too uncomfortably familiar. the death at hands that shouldn't have been forced to commit the act, the possession and the crushed hope of recognition. the necessity and loyalty that was so core to their relationship that it took priority over all else.
with a considering look, he sighs and nods. there wasn't a way to salvage this now, and no choice but to move forward. like it always was. ]
I suspected the same, but there is little evidence to implicate him completely. I have the thought that he and Scaramouche could have coordinated that intentionally, actually. It's all a bit vague and theatrical. [ a sour expression creases his brow for a moment. ] I'll keep an ear for your messages. [ ... ] Tell Strohl I enjoyed sharing his stories, the other night.
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no subject
[ it's the first time he's used this tone with her - the tone of a captain, a leader, one who exacts justice. not a tone he enjoys taking, but given the situation... ]
If this was a mercy kill, as implied, being upfront about it would have saved more than the attempt at keeping silent. No one would have thought either of you to attack each other intentionally. Those achievements have arbitrary conditions. Your value is greater alive and honest than dead and guilty.
no subject
Maybe so. But 'tis all too late now, isn't it? I cannot take back my decision, just as much as you cannot turn back time to guarantee a different outcome, would that we could. [ ... ] This is the part that Strohl would have been better at, truth be told. He would have known the right time to reveal what happened. He would have been better suited to navigating trial.
... but he had forgotten who I was. He was the one possessed, and saw me as a threat, something about how I was fracturing. So I did what I knew that I would be better at handling, as I had promised him I would.
no subject
[ petty, perhaps. he always has been, and his respect for her - while under pressure, had not entirely given way yet, bringing just that flicker of equality back into his voice. the mention of fracturing is. odd, however. his eyes narrow slightly, filing that information away for later, should it be be needed. ]
But you are the first who could have made an admission, explained yourself, given us time collectively to find another culprit. To potentially find someone more dangerous, more likely to strike again. To not leave us without yet another teammate. The ripples of today will extend far beyond yourself.
no subject
He'd already had the lance in hand, and I gave him no chance to draw his sword or seek another target while not in his right mind. If some part of him still remained, behind the possession, 'twas not one that did not see me as a threat - 'tis giving him too little credit.
[ it's too optimistic to her, to believe that strohl was still there when he didn't remember her. that a part of him still held onto himself behind the possession. but it doesn't mean that she doesn't hope for it, in some way.
but... ]
... they will. We are fortunate in that there will be another lifeline, in the event that something happens, though 'tis one regret. [ they're too independent to be a proper team, with their stray cats and her and rosamund trying to herd them in some capacity. but she still cares for them. ] I promised him, Mordalion. Foolish as you may think me for it, reckless in all of this, I am a knight of my word.
But if you want to continue forward, in spite of the ripples... talk to Matsuno and Jonas. Miss Kate. They suspect that Asuka was the final culprit of the night, as do I. Perhaps something can be done, after the fact, that might make up for what has come to pass today. I will try to write with anything that I learn, and try to find a way to write around what obstructs the dead from sharing truth.
no subject
with a considering look, he sighs and nods. there wasn't a way to salvage this now, and no choice but to move forward. like it always was. ]
I suspected the same, but there is little evidence to implicate him completely. I have the thought that he and Scaramouche could have coordinated that intentionally, actually. It's all a bit vague and theatrical. [ a sour expression creases his brow for a moment. ] I'll keep an ear for your messages. [ ... ] Tell Strohl I enjoyed sharing his stories, the other night.